Showing posts with label wives. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wives. Show all posts

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Nag Diaries 76.9 - Marriage Rocks

Real, Real Talk


Disclaimer:  Some of these situations are true, some of them are not but these are the thoughts of a woman trying to please her husband and hoping to get pleased herself.  


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I have been there many times.  Hubby comes home - in the mood.  You oblige him.  

It is going spectacular.

He finishes well before you.  Your excitement deflates as he apologizes.  Are you mad he asks.  Nope, you lie.  He asks you to look at him as you burn a hole in the wall from the darts shooting from your eyes.  You look at him, small smile.  You lie and say you are not mad.

But inside you are cursing, rolling your eyes and sighing in unsatisfied sexual frustration.

He apologizes again, it wasn't his fault.  He was REALLY horny.

Hey, I wasn't horny to begin with.  I was sleep and got that tap tap, shoulder roll over signal.

He tries to make it up by asking if you want to cuddle because he knows this makes you really happy.  You oblige because saying what is on your mind is out of the question.

A heavy arm is thrown across your waist as you rest on your belly. A chin rests on the back of your shoulder.  Breathing gets heavy and you realize in less than 15 freaking seconds that.........this *&!#@#! man is SLEEP.

You turn your head to the left to peek at him.  He is even snoring.  Then silently, you turn back to stare at the wall.

And he took both of the dang pillows.


*exasperated sound goes here*

Your thoughts turn to something else.  You could do it you know.  Just take care of it yourself.  It will be quick.  You know your body better than he does sometimes.

You go back and forth about the whole thing, because you really don't want to.  It's not really that satisfying because you would rather have the alternative - the real thing.

Yet, man - come on.  


Still fuming and semi-sleepy horny, your mind is made up.

You reach your hand down, careful not to wake him.  You snarl at yourself because you cant believe you are worried about waking him.

He moves his leg and slightly as his arm tightens around your waist.

That right hand creeps down.

Touches........touches........an envelope stuck to your leg.

The moment has passed as you pull the envelope from under the covers.


The dang water bill.  

You open the water bill and see that the bill is lower this month.
Hmm, that's good.  You smile, see the pile of laundry still waiting.

You remove his arm from your waste.  He wakes.  You tell you him you have to go to the bathroom.  Jumping out of bed you realize, it's OK.  It's really not that big of a deal.

Besides, who is going to do the laundry?

The day must go on. 


Friday, November 9, 2007

The Nag Diaries

This picture was taken approximately one month after my car accident in 2006...........I didn't realize it would be a precursor for my marriage. So lets analyze.........My now husband is the man in the picture - Gezz - LOVE HIM. I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would be missing half of myself but marriage does that to you. It takes the half of you that you thought you knew and replaces it with the person you are going to "know" for the rest of your life - that is if you stay married to one person........dang I feel for all those folks who have been married multiple times - now that is scary! So now you end up having to learn about who you are all over again in terms of your new spouse AND on top of that you have to learn about who your new spouse is in terms of being a NEW SPOUSE because people tend to be different after they get married, furthermore you find out that you may just have to change a little, ok some, no! dangit A HECK OF A WHOLE LOT just to be able to live sanely!!!!!

Anyway, so do men think in "male years"? What is male years you might ask, well it is my take on how men think in terms of their age. I believe my husband is in the "just discovered that I liked my freedom/privacy" stage which would be at about 13 in male years.

So how do I tackle that? His definition of nagging is quite different from mine. If I just happened to mention the same thing more then once but at different times or days - its nagging. In my opinion its constructive reminding.

I am only trying to help him out you know because he forgets and since I am biblically his "help mate" I should help him remember - kind of like Gingko Biloba - right? But is it too much? We have only been married for about 3 1/2 months and to me - I'm still honeymooning - but what to do when the sun keeps coming up on your honeymoon - and what the heck does honeymoon mean anyway???!!!! Sorry. (Clears throat)- I just want some insight some direction, a male perspective on this and can someone please tell me when married men actually start to get it? Because right now I feel like the series below......sometimes most of me is out of the equation, my husband acts like a baby, then I love him to death, then we both wig out and we are both left feeling bored and just.......plain..........blah........





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