Nag Diaries - PMS Day 2

The dishes were still there.  Uggggggghhhhhhh!!  Not only were they still there - they were piled up in the sink.  Que-eva.  Now on to the rest of my day and the food portion of my powdered mustard seed plan (I said I would cook more).


I made breakfast for everyone - including the sudd-muffin.  Didnt say nothing about the dishes and just did them myself.  So much easier.  I even made the sudd-muffins lunch and I was actually happy about it.  Maybe we have been having so many issues being married because I wasnt participating in the marriage.  Doing these things actually made me feel good about being "wifely"  - go figure. 

Lunch!
I made lunch for the baby girl. I had a couple of scientists really interested in the contents of my refrigerator - particularly interested in some cherry tomatoes, cucumber and a mango.  I had to get rid of them so, SALAD it was along with breaded chicken patty sandwiches and orange slices.

Ingredients
1 old cucumber
Some old cherry tomatoes (pick out the bad ones)
1 mango (or any fruit you have on hand, preferably something like pineapple)
Cut up the veggies in small pieces and toss them in a bowl.

Eyeball the following ingredients

salt

pepper

lemon juice

sugar

balsamic vinegar

olive oil

Whisk together all the ingredients, taste, add more sugar and pour over veggies/mango and toss.  Voila!  I had a pretty picture of the actual food that was plated but........as I went to put some ketchup on my sandwich, it squirted out all over my sandwich, salad and orange slices......so.  Yeah. That's all I got there.

Moving on to my health portion - I was tired.  Really tired but I made myself get up and take my daughter for a walk down our little neighborhood path to the man-made lake.  We brought old sourdough bread for the duckies (I really must clean out my fridge and pantry more often).  It was a gorgeous day today and there were a lot of kids out.  It's funny how a little old bread can bring both kid and ducks flocking.

For dinner I cooked baked tilapia with garlic butter sauce, rice pilaf and broccoli. 

 Annnnnddddd - CAKE!!!

 
Me and the sudd-muffin spoke.  He grabbed me real quick for a kiss and a hug.....didn't know what to think of that so I just went with it.  I think my plan may be working....so thank you lord for Day 2 of the rest of my life. 

Nag Diary 11.2

Nothing really special to blog about today.  Still in recovery.  Still sore.  Still semi-lost with what I want to do with the rest of my life.  Sometimes I feel like I'm going in circles. 

Time Warner Cable showed up at my house, unannounced - courtesy of my job.  Moving one step closer to working at home.  I have a desk in my office but I want a bigger desk so I have been perusing craigslist.com for desk.  I think I found one but this person keeps giving me the runaround so may have to start looking again.



From  http://www.nesfoundation.com/

 My baby girl is growing so fast! We need more time in the day.  I really wish they had a kids kickball league in this area.  I would love to get her involved in kickball.  I loved kickball growing up and it seems these days, kids cant do anything at school anymore or it gets hocked up to bullying, meanness or reducing kids down to mediocrity.  That's evident in school field day events where EVERYONE gets a ribbon. 

What a crock of hooey! 

Where is the competitive edge?  Everything has gone down the drain because the kids that were picked last in elementary school have grown up to become psychologists and relate to everyone that these games/events are no good for our children.  So now we have a generation of whining, mediocre, underachievers who always win something.  Maybe I'm being too harsh but I always believed if you have a Gym Teacher who doesn't allow these things to happen in class, it eliminates the problems. 

I remember going to school with a boy named Peter who was the best football athlete in 5 grade.  He was cool.  He always picked the people who sucked because he actually cared about folks being picked last.  At least that is what I decided what the reason was.  Where do you think he learned this from?  His gym teacher? NO.  His parents? Just maybe. 

If we want our kids to grow then we have to show them HOW to show compassion and how to root for the underdog so to speak; then being picked last will have no power.  I have always cheered for the underdog.  I have always smiled at the new kid, sat by them, invited them to sit with me because I was the underdog.  I was the new kid.  I was picked on for being black, for being smart, for having a big nose and lips.  It never ended.  But what I am thankful for is a grandmother who didn't allow those things to affect my outlook on people.  So I tell my daughter all the time, don't let your classmates pick on you or anyone else, YOU be the catalyst for change if that is happening, YOU be the one that makes someone feel better about themselves and don't worry if you are not rewarded for it. 

As for the folks that pick on her, that is another story for another day.

Nag Diaries - 5.3 - Conquering the Monkey Bars

Yesterday, I took my daughter on a walk in our neighborhood.  We actually have a nice neighborhood with a walking path & man-made lake and stream.  There were ducks everywhere. 
We walked until the path ended at the neighborhood playground.  Nothing spectacular about this playground.
 Just 4 swings two climbing areas with slides and – a set of monkey bars.  The big shadow is me – ha!

I loved monkey bars when I was a kid.  I even loved that little round metal bar shaped like a rectangle and drilled directly into the ground.  I would balance on that thing on my butt and then swing backwards with the back of my knees hugging the bar – around and around.  Some kids would even tie their sweaters around their waste and to the bar to swing around without the aid of your knees. 
Back to the monkey bars. 
At my school in Scottsdale, AZ, we had a nice jungle gym, swing monkey bar play area.  We had a set of monkey bars connected to the slide as well as metal rings that faced the monkey bars.  I would swing on the rings, just until I got the right height and momentum and let go to fly over to the monkey bars, catch it and monkey my way to the end and repeat.  I was fearless and not afraid to try anything.
Yesterday at the park, my daughter wanted to try the monkey bars.  Now she’s nine so, I thought monkey bars would be easy.  She couldn’t even swing.  She tried twice more than gave up – all the while complaining and whining about it. 
I was dumbfounded.  She’s nine and was afraid to try the monkey bars.  She was scared.  It made me realize how sheltered and out of shape she is.  For 6 years of her life we lived in a one bedroom duplex.  This place was smaller than my current master bedroom/bath and closet put together.  We slept on a sofa bed for 6 years.  I rarely let her go outside because of the neighborhood we lived in.  I mean, our neighbors were gangbangers and THEY watched out for us.  I was always too tired to take her to the park because I worked full time and went to school full time – trying to make a life for her.
This is the result.  She is afraid to try and quick to give up.  I don’t understand.  I am not that way.  I pushed and pushed while I was pregnant with her and after to..……or maybe I really “didn't”.  I just never realized it and it has rubbed off on her.  That makes me sick to my stomach.  It also makes me want to get rid of a lot of stuff in our lives that are not enriching it.  That’s hard to do when you’re married to “The Resistance”. 

I got up to exercise today after sitting on my bed for 45 minutes crying about Aiden and feeling just blah.  I finally got up and decided to exercise.  I invited my daughter to join me.  It was a mess.  I couldn’t even exercise for her whining and complaining.  What they heck is going on???  Did I raise my daughter up to this point to whine and complain.  NO SIR I DIDN’T.  So now I am perplexed on how to get her out of this….funk.  Any ideas???  Anyone?

Nag Diaries - Sunday with my Girl Photo Blog

She didn't want to give me any of her Cookie - LOL!

Nag Diaries - Almond Joy

I am home today....not feeling too good. My baby girl is back to school today after a day off...weird charter school schedule.  I don't know what I am going to do with her.  She has really good teachers but for some reason she is having a hard time keeping up with all the work they are given.  I mean this is 4th grade.  I can't expect her to be like I was in school...I was anal about my notebook and it's neatness - all the time.  I'm lucky if Rina remembers her notebook.  Anyway, they get too much homework if you ask me and nothing makes sense anymore.  I couldn't even explain algorithms (in 4th grade??) to my daughter based on the way the homework was set up.  I acutally felt STUPID or maybe I was having a pregnancy moment??  Lord how I wish I could be a stay at home mom....

I did start the morning off right though.  Check it out.

Start My Morning off Right List

✔ Me time: I took a shower, what more can I get at 6am

✔ Eat something: handfull of Cheerios..breathe, breathe....swallow....swallow.

✔ Eat something else: Cinnamon Life cereal - about a cup with 2% milk.  It stayed down.

✔ Eat some more:  Green grapes....about 8 of em.  They were sweet and yummy.

✔ Gripe about cleaning the house:  OK, only for about 5 minutes 2 minutes did i gripe then I opened the windows downstairs to air the house out.  Now it smells like a morning dog walk and wet grass......sheesh.

✔ Eat something else: Now this is where it got interesting....

I am on  a health food chop right now - not kick.  Have to be.  I have to chop out some of the old stuff I was eating.  I have too much weight and not enough baby.  My grandmother told me about Almond milk a couple of weeks ago.  I know how picky she is so I thought, what the heck try it.  I made an Almond Milk Fruit Smoothie.

It has bananas, mixed frozen berries, almond milk, honey and vanilla in it.  At first my stomach kinda said, hey what they heck is that????  Then I said, dont throw up and my stomach said okie dokie!  It was good except I noticed I started belching more.  I mean I belch all the time now that I am preggo but this was more than usual.  Go figure.  I had more than that picture below but I had already drank half of it before I remembered to take a picture....then me not being a food photographer, I wanted it to look good but didn't have anything to spruce the glass up except a frozen strawberry.  So I ran it under some warm water to soften up in order to stick it on the side of the glass.  Sacrifice.

You know what, looking at my honey that I used, I just noticed I bought imitation honey!!!!  GRRRRRRR!  Great.

Nag Diary - Waaaah!

Sooo, This weekend was a weird one.  It started off on Friday - I got dizzy at work.  No worries, I was fasting and figured that was the reason.  The Saturday I filmed the movie - YAY!  We were out all night until like 4am - I got sick. Cough cough.  Then on 09-12-10  - I went ahead & rushed to CVS because I thought something was not quite right.  Two tests later, I'm PREGGO!!!! 

My husband didnt believe me.  It was very difficult and has been very difficult for him since I had my miscarriage Christmas day 2009.  We were both devastated.  So Monday - I went to the doctor - took another test - POSITVE.  Then I went to see my OB on Tuesday - POSITVE.

What's really weird about it is I am not late, no morning sickness no weirdness at all.  God is good.  No matter what happens with THIS pregnancy I will continue to serve Him.  Now - can anyone help me?  i would like to exercise still but I am high risk so I am afraid to really exercise - What are your suggestions??

Nag Diaries 10.2, Can we Pretend that Airplanes...................

Nothing as exciting as my sexcapade has occurred but life goes on...this post is kind of long and if you are anything like me......you will skip around, get bored, scroll to the bottom to look for something juicy...go read someone else blog entry, check to see how many comments......
Que-Ever.

My daughter did come home finally last Monday! She almost didn't. I forgot to send my mom a copy of Weenies birth certificate so the day of the flight everything that could go wrong - yeah - cliche.

First, my Internet didn't work. At all. I told that know-it-all AT&T rep that it was not MY phone line but the modem but hey, she's the one getting paid by AT&T and  insisted the tech was coming to look at the "phone line" to check it.  Fine - we waited, in the four hour window for the tech.

Anyway, back to Weenie - her flight was scheduled to leave from Los Angeles at 9AM on 8-16-10. First thing in the morning (Texas time) I am on my P.O.Crap blackberry trying to "tether" it to use as a modem.  I did everything - crackberry, BB forum, explored the disk that came w/it.  Nothing worked. I thought for sure since I had the Everything Data Plan or whatever it is called I would be able to use my BB as a modem - NOPE. Not happening.

So I jump on said BB to phone me mom only to be greeted with 48 year old attitude because it's LAX & that airport is known for being crowded.  Now LAX is a whole nother animal compared to Love field where you can leave less than an hour early from home and STILL make it to the gate with time to spare - NO ONE IS EVER THERE!!!

My mom had a big time 'tude. First I had to find my daughters scanned birth certificate on my PC, the scan as PDF function was NOT working so I had to scan it as a .jpg, copy it & paste it to a Word doc, enlarge it so it was legible, save said doc, connect the PC to the BB, transfer doc to BB, disconnect BB from PC, create an email from my BB to me mom, attach birth certificate - SEND - in lest than 30 mins cause mind you my mom is still at home in Los Angeles at 8am....plane leaves at 9am.....LAX advises all travelers to arrive at least 2 hours early - even earlier for unaccompanied minors.

I had to argue with my mom just to take her to the airport - she wouldn't leave! We hung up at least 3 times and called each other back. I was so frustrated I had to have the sudd-muffin talk to her - then she hung up on him. In the meantime the BB is.....still.....sending. So I think maybe it's the word doc, lemme send it again as a .jpg so off to the PC AGAIN, connect BB, transfer, repeat SEND. And the email just sits there.

Meanwhile the AT&T guy is there trying to "figure" out what's wrong with our phone line.....*smirk*
My mom  is STILL debating on leaving to go to airport AFTER I call call Southwest airlines.  They reassured me if my lil baby was there at least 2 hours within the flight leaving they will reschedule for free.  YAY.  Mom doesn't really care cause she doesn't want to sit all day at LAX in case weenie misses her flight & has to take another....

LEAVE ALREADY AND JUST TRY!

That is what I wanted to scream but I didn't. She did leave after much stomping and lip pouting on my part. Gets to LAX and there is about 100 peeps in the Southwest line *PANIC/frown*.

Mom calls me back:

Mom:  NayLahknee, it's about 100 people in front of me & I'm gonna have to pay someone to move ahead in the line, she aint never gonna make it on the plane...blah blah...sigh, OMG....wah wah....

Me: *gritting teeth* (thinks to self: I don't care....pay someone as long as she gets on that plane........) but what I really said was, Mom you are at the airport, ask someone about unaccompanied minors....

Mom: Grrrrrrr....**hangs up phone**

Me: **pulls out another strand of hair from my already balding head.**

Meanwhile - both BB emails have went nowhere, AT&T guy fixes the modem and voila! Internet back - a lot of good it will do me now though....all I could think of was "CRAP!"

Me and hubby have little spat about going to daughters orientation at new Harmony Science Nature & Sports Center (we changed her schools)....went a lil' something like this:

He had forgot.
I didn't.
He didn't want to go.
I didn't care - he was going.
There was some blah blah blah, haven't even taken a shower yet...stuff that came from the sudd-muffin. Again, didn't care;
He wanted to drink his coffee.
I didn't care if he snorted it.
Butt better be in the car and rolling down the street with me.
Sudd-muffin disappears for like 5 mins, runs back down stairs and starts rushing me to go.  Mind you, I have yet to lotion down my bodacious legs and look like I have been cleaning chalkboard erasers with my legs from the knee down....do ya think he wanted to wait for me to get some lotion???????  NO! 

We get to the orientation and guess what? The school decides to tell everyone that they will NOT be starting classes on 8-23-10 like everyone else but 8-30-10 because the school is not finished yet and no one is allowed in the building.

WTHeck????  What I really said, in my head of course was, "Ain't this some s*!@...."
Then I had to ask for forgiveness......Jesus take the wheel.

I jump quick like on the BB to call me mom and wouldn't you know it those stupid emails finally went through. Mom gets on the phone just quick enough to let me know wennie girl has just gotten on the plane and cant really talk right then.

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

The Kicker
Now this would not have upset me as much except that her original flight was supposed to leave on 8-21-10. Me and sudd-muffin missed her sooo much that we paid to have her flight changed to bring her back 6 days early so we could spend time with her before she went to school. The universe was not working with me. I try to tell me mom NOT to put her on the plane but.....it was too late.......

Yeah, see that Nag down below, with the arse looking you dead in the face?
Mmm hmm.  Ain't gonna say nothing else.

Nag Diary 8.9

Sock It To Me

My granny sent me some ankle socks in the mail from Cali....for those of you that don't know - I love goofy, out of the ordinary, patterned ankle socks.

Booooo!

I was sooooo bored today at work.  *sigh*  But God is good and allows me to keep coming to work.  In the state of Texas we just extended our unemployment benefits (federally) so there are people who have been on unemployment for the last 2 years.  This is bad....I mean the recession.  I hope we come out of it soon.  Texas is an employer driven state when it comes to unemployement and I really don't care for that face being someone that has been fired for no reason.......let me stop.

Run
I have the car tonight so I have to pick up the sudd-muffin from work....pish posh as my friend Audrey says......I am trying to hurryupandfinishthisblogsoIcangetoutofhereontime so my words may did run together.

Pray
I talked to my little Angel today and she is coming home AUGUST 16!  Boo yow!  She also informed me that she had a God encounter at church this past Sunday.  And I wasnt there.  It is so amazing.  I thank the Lord everyday that at least if my daughter chooses to go another way, I am trying to do my best to let her know who God is and how awesome He is.  She has been in church since before she was born because my granny wouldn't let me miss a day....except those times I was too fat to get up during those last few weeks I was preggo.......boy that was fun....I digress. 

The sudd-muffin was in the car with me when I found out about our daughters God encounter and we both were in tears.  It made me realize that if my daughter can be in church, listen to a song and realize how blessed her life is because of God - then what are we doing as adults ignoring it? 

And a child shall lead them.....

We also finally started talking again - like for real.  I am so insecure sometimes but on a side note - my sudd-muffin is back and ROARIN!  Now where did those red high heeled pumps go........

Nag Diary 8.8: Moving on, Wishful Thinking, Future Happenings

Moving On
So yesterday was not a good day but God is good and today is a NEW day.  Being a wife is hard work.  Do you ever feel like, as a mom, wife, homemaker, worker - that you have on too many clothes, hats, accessories?  Do you know what I mean?  Let me explain.......

I feel like I have on one bright red sexy pump, one sensible running shoe, my mommy hat, an apron around my waist with some sexy drawers on for the hub, a halo on top of my head, one broken angel wing - dont know where the other fell off at, a duster tucked in the band of my apron - for cleaning, my nerd glasses on, my daughters math & science books balanced precariously on my head, my customer service voice turned on to help those unemployed people (lord end this recession!), my acting mask on because really I'm an actress who hasn't made it at all, my fat/skinny jeans on (I keep losing and gaining the weight) and a Rose between my teeth to set this sucker off!  *ding*


Wishful Thinking
Back to reality.  I often look at my wedding day pics - people frozen in time, euphoria and expectation and I have to admit I wish I could frame up my life, hang it on the wall and let the picture live for me.  Alas....... it cannot be done!!!!  We have to live our lives with the good and the bad, take everything in with grace and let things go with that same grace.  So yeah, my marriage is rough sometimes but I am spiritually sucking it up and asking God to carry those things that are too heavy for me.  Thank you!

Future Happenings

I want my baby girl to come home right noooooowwwwww!  I miss her and her grandmother sent me countless pics from her visit to Sacramento which only made things worse.  She is supposed to come home on August 21 but forget that mess - my baby is comin home like this week.  I will just pay for the ticket and keep it movin!  She is my world and I miss her terribly!!  


Until the next nag diary...Got purpose? No - then let's get it!

Nag Diaries 2.6

Seriously, do I look that stupid?   Why in the world tdo men, husbands to be exact seem to think that their wies are complete idiots??  Well I am no idiot & I sure as heck aint no dummy.  You konw I look past a lot of stuff my hub does, I even let  alot off stuff slide but enough is enough.  Why should women or men put up with the same old lying, excuses, laziness and just pure disrespect.  I am just untterly disgusted right now. 

I know I didnt really say much as far as what is going on but even talking about the same old crap is exhausting & mind numbing, so I will just leave you with Nagella below.

The Nag Diaries 1.3

Soooo, it is after 6pm and I am at home with my family. I dont understand it but my husband........is acting weird. He is doing things he wouldn't usually do, being super understanding, offering his services without being asked.......Im like astounded. I went to my new members orientation this past weekend and the orientation leader spoke briefly on marriage. She referenced praying over your husband and set up the scenario of "anointing your husbands head with oil but make him think you are just massaging his head" - I thought that was funny. Rubbing my honeys bald head with oil - he will definately know something is up.

Back to the subject - my husband may not do everything that I do and how I do it but he makes an effort. Women sometimes expect the man they marry to immediately change because we have changed but this is not so. I mentioned "male years" in another blog and I believe this is tied into spirituality. A man that has a right relationship with God can be made wise in time.

So I am going to be more patient, more appreciative, more understanding and more loving. He deserves it - and he looks good in boxer briefs!!