Thursday, February 17, 2011
Nag Diaries - The Sudd Muffin
I did say on yesterday that I would post why I call the hubby my Sudd-Muffin - well here is why....
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Nag Diary - 7.3 - Now where was that Post when I needed it?
I'm referring to Jen over at Prior Fat Girl. I was so happy with her Falling off the Wagon post. I really needed it & I was so down on myself because of yesterdays eating choices. But you know what - it is ALL good. I usually don't pay much attention to my binging habits because I am too busy eating*. But now that I think about it - I have been down because of my birthday. It was hard this year - I mean nothing to whine about but it was still hard for me - personally.
I decided to take this journey of purification because I wanted to be reborn. I also wanted to quit talking about it & BE about it like some of these other wonderful ladies. Like Syl at LIVE, SMILE, RUN or Missy at the Ups and Downs of Losing Weight....just two new blogs I am so proud to be subscribed to. I don't have a lot of money to buy little gifts for giveaways to get readers to read my blog. But what I do have is respect for these women and creativity to show them that respect......so this is for you Jen, Syl and Missy!
I decided to take this journey of purification because I wanted to be reborn. I also wanted to quit talking about it & BE about it like some of these other wonderful ladies. Like Syl at LIVE, SMILE, RUN or Missy at the Ups and Downs of Losing Weight....just two new blogs I am so proud to be subscribed to. I don't have a lot of money to buy little gifts for giveaways to get readers to read my blog. But what I do have is respect for these women and creativity to show them that respect......so this is for you Jen, Syl and Missy!
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Nag Diaries 9.5 - Dedicated to the One that Loves Me
I never stop to think that maybe my hubby really does "think" about the stuff he does to me or says to me and how I may feel but I guess yesterday he was really thinking hard cause he sent me this song - edited of course to fit me from my perspective. I was at work when he sent this to me and almost started bawling.....this is how I feel sometimes because we are still learning about each other and learning how to be husband and wife. It is not easy.I LOVE YOU SUDD-MUFFIN! Stay tuned and I will reveal WHY my hubby is my sudd-muffin....coming manana!
Date: Tue, 15 Feb 2011 12:24:39 -0800
From: garrett_madden@xxxxxxxx
Subject: Make ya feel like this sometimes...I'm sorry:(
To: ME!!
Loving you, is killing me
When you know it should be thrilling me Loving you, is choking me slowly
When I'm with you I still feel real lowly
Loving you, is busting me
You don't ever put your trust in me
Loving you, should mean that I'm your queen
You don't make me feel like anything
CHORUS
Now I never knew you'd be so evil
How did you get to be so evil boy
Now you telling me, that I'm bad to you
You don't know what you’re talking 'bout boy
Hear me when I say
You can't just do whatever you want, boy
Loving you, is killing me
When you know it should fulfill me
Loving you, is aching me sadly
You know that it should make me happy
Loving you, isn’t worth all the suffering
In return you never give me nothing
Here's the news about loving you
Well it's something that I used to do
Loving you, is killing me
When you know it should be building me
Loving you, is holding me back
Why the hell you make me feel like that
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Nag Diaries - 5.3 - Conquering the Monkey Bars
Yesterday, I took my daughter on a walk in our neighborhood. We actually have a nice neighborhood with a walking path & man-made lake and stream. There were ducks everywhere. 
We walked until the path ended at the neighborhood playground. Nothing spectacular about this playground.
Just 4 swings two climbing areas with slides and – a set of monkey bars. The big shadow is me – ha!
I loved monkey bars when I was a kid. I even loved that little round metal bar shaped like a rectangle and drilled directly into the ground. I would balance on that thing on my butt and then swing backwards with the back of my knees hugging the bar – around and around. Some kids would even tie their sweaters around their waste and to the bar to swing around without the aid of your knees.
Back to the monkey bars.
At my school in Scottsdale, AZ, we had a nice jungle gym, swing monkey bar play area. We had a set of monkey bars connected to the slide as well as metal rings that faced the monkey bars. I would swing on the rings, just until I got the right height and momentum and let go to fly over to the monkey bars, catch it and monkey my way to the end and repeat. I was fearless and not afraid to try anything.
Yesterday at the park, my daughter wanted to try the monkey bars. Now she’s nine so, I thought monkey bars would be easy. She couldn’t even swing. She tried twice more than gave up – all the while complaining and whining about it.
I was dumbfounded. She’s nine and was afraid to try the monkey bars. She was scared. It made me realize how sheltered and out of shape she is. For 6 years of her life we lived in a one bedroom duplex. This place was smaller than my current master bedroom/bath and closet put together. We slept on a sofa bed for 6 years. I rarely let her go outside because of the neighborhood we lived in. I mean, our neighbors were gangbangers and THEY watched out for us. I was always too tired to take her to the park because I worked full time and went to school full time – trying to make a life for her.
This is the result. She is afraid to try and quick to give up. I don’t understand. I am not that way. I pushed and pushed while I was pregnant with her and after to..……or maybe I really “didn't”. I just never realized it and it has rubbed off on her. That makes me sick to my stomach. It also makes me want to get rid of a lot of stuff in our lives that are not enriching it. That’s hard to do when you’re married to “The Resistance”.
I got up to exercise today after sitting on my bed for 45 minutes crying about Aiden and feeling just blah. I finally got up and decided to exercise. I invited my daughter to join me. It was a mess. I couldn’t even exercise for her whining and complaining. What they heck is going on??? Did I raise my daughter up to this point to whine and complain. NO SIR I DIDN’T. So now I am perplexed on how to get her out of this….funk. Any ideas??? Anyone?
We walked until the path ended at the neighborhood playground. Nothing spectacular about this playground.
Just 4 swings two climbing areas with slides and – a set of monkey bars. The big shadow is me – ha!
I loved monkey bars when I was a kid. I even loved that little round metal bar shaped like a rectangle and drilled directly into the ground. I would balance on that thing on my butt and then swing backwards with the back of my knees hugging the bar – around and around. Some kids would even tie their sweaters around their waste and to the bar to swing around without the aid of your knees.
Back to the monkey bars.
At my school in Scottsdale, AZ, we had a nice jungle gym, swing monkey bar play area. We had a set of monkey bars connected to the slide as well as metal rings that faced the monkey bars. I would swing on the rings, just until I got the right height and momentum and let go to fly over to the monkey bars, catch it and monkey my way to the end and repeat. I was fearless and not afraid to try anything.
Yesterday at the park, my daughter wanted to try the monkey bars. Now she’s nine so, I thought monkey bars would be easy. She couldn’t even swing. She tried twice more than gave up – all the while complaining and whining about it.
I was dumbfounded. She’s nine and was afraid to try the monkey bars. She was scared. It made me realize how sheltered and out of shape she is. For 6 years of her life we lived in a one bedroom duplex. This place was smaller than my current master bedroom/bath and closet put together. We slept on a sofa bed for 6 years. I rarely let her go outside because of the neighborhood we lived in. I mean, our neighbors were gangbangers and THEY watched out for us. I was always too tired to take her to the park because I worked full time and went to school full time – trying to make a life for her.
This is the result. She is afraid to try and quick to give up. I don’t understand. I am not that way. I pushed and pushed while I was pregnant with her and after to..……or maybe I really “didn't”. I just never realized it and it has rubbed off on her. That makes me sick to my stomach. It also makes me want to get rid of a lot of stuff in our lives that are not enriching it. That’s hard to do when you’re married to “The Resistance”.
I got up to exercise today after sitting on my bed for 45 minutes crying about Aiden and feeling just blah. I finally got up and decided to exercise. I invited my daughter to join me. It was a mess. I couldn’t even exercise for her whining and complaining. What they heck is going on??? Did I raise my daughter up to this point to whine and complain. NO SIR I DIDN’T. So now I am perplexed on how to get her out of this….funk. Any ideas??? Anyone?
Friday, February 11, 2011
Nag Diaries 8.10 - Sexcapades
This is actually one of my favorite posts and I am reposting it just for fun!
I have not blogged all week!! I have been working....and an update is soon to come for what has happened this week. But I must tell yall about my event full morning this 14th day of our Lord, 2010.
Friday my sudd-muffin was being a jerk. Every time I turned around he was texting me about putting oil in the car and NAGGING me about how much money we have in the bank. Really? I'm at work. Listening to other people nag about unemployment or lack thereof and he keeps texting me about OIL for the car and MONEY. **exasperated string of curse words go here** Then he gives me a "directive" via text: "Remember: before you take Rasheeda home, get some oil."
I almost threw my Blackberry. I mean why didn't he get the oil for the car after he dropped me off at work at 7am??? Answer: because he went back home and went to sleep!
Moving on - I was not happy with the sudd-muffin. He was on the Hit List - I was gonna hit him when I saw him. Just smack em. Things just got worse. I think he had Male PMS yesterday. He whined about everything and was just in a oh so foul I'm a man mood instead of the Old Spice mood.
Que-so, this morning when I wake up - Garrett is in "I'm sorry mode". Which I appreciate. He apologized profusely. Mind you this is all happening in front of my computer desk and chair - with him in it. I decide to forgive him because really - I have the kind of day he had at least 3 times a week!
*Fade to black goes here and role credits..*
*disaster goes here*
So I didn't really judge how far away I was from the keyboard tray on the computer desk. My leg (mind you the one with the metal plate and screws in it) collides with/underneath the keyboard tray at my ankle, lifts the keyboard tray up into up in the air about 5 inches only to slam back down. Loudly*.
The sudd-muffin commences to roll off the chair straight onto the floor to do what he does best - laughs at me.
I was mortified. All I could do was limp over to the couch and cover my face while he is TRULY ROFL at me!
Now I sit here with a lump on my ankle typing this.......how did I get here. *smirk* I can always try that again another day....
Anyone else have a sexcapade disaster? Go ahead and tell it - I won't laugh.
I have not blogged all week!! I have been working....and an update is soon to come for what has happened this week. But I must tell yall about my event full morning this 14th day of our Lord, 2010.
Friday my sudd-muffin was being a jerk. Every time I turned around he was texting me about putting oil in the car and NAGGING me about how much money we have in the bank. Really? I'm at work. Listening to other people nag about unemployment or lack thereof and he keeps texting me about OIL for the car and MONEY. **exasperated string of curse words go here** Then he gives me a "directive" via text: "Remember: before you take Rasheeda home, get some oil."
I almost threw my Blackberry. I mean why didn't he get the oil for the car after he dropped me off at work at 7am??? Answer: because he went back home and went to sleep!
Moving on - I was not happy with the sudd-muffin. He was on the Hit List - I was gonna hit him when I saw him. Just smack em. Things just got worse. I think he had Male PMS yesterday. He whined about everything and was just in a oh so foul I'm a man mood instead of the Old Spice mood.
Que-so, this morning when I wake up - Garrett is in "I'm sorry mode". Which I appreciate. He apologized profusely. Mind you this is all happening in front of my computer desk and chair - with him in it. I decide to forgive him because really - I have the kind of day he had at least 3 times a week!
*Fade to black goes here and role credits..*
Sexcapade Credits
 |
| Sincere yet hopeful husband featuring the Ambitious but clumsy wife |
And
Introducing
The Keyboard tray - Taking sexy back one kick at a time....
 |
I am still in my pajamas - which is an old blue nightshirt with stars and moons on it from when I was pregnant 9 years ago - Not sexy but tryin. I looked down at my hubby sitting in that chair smirking and smiling, lay my hand on one of his shoulders, the other on the side of his face in a soft caress, flip that left eyebrow up in my sexy "come here" way and attempt to throw/kick my leg over his shoulder all sexy like while he is sitting in the chair. You know the way ladies with sexy fishnet stockings do so the guy can run his hand up the calf and thigh.......
*disaster goes here*
So I didn't really judge how far away I was from the keyboard tray on the computer desk. My leg (mind you the one with the metal plate and screws in it) collides with/underneath the keyboard tray at my ankle, lifts the keyboard tray up into up in the air about 5 inches only to slam back down. Loudly*.
The sudd-muffin commences to roll off the chair straight onto the floor to do what he does best - laughs at me.
I was mortified. All I could do was limp over to the couch and cover my face while he is TRULY ROFL at me!
Now I sit here with a lump on my ankle typing this.......how did I get here. *smirk* I can always try that again another day....
Anyone else have a sexcapade disaster? Go ahead and tell it - I won't laugh.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Nag Diary 9.6 - The Storm
I am going through a lot right now. I don't think I have ever thought about suicide so much in my ENTIRE life. I don't understand. It's like that picture to the right. I took that picture when my husband and I went on our Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives wedding anniversary trip. The sun is covered by storm clouds but some of it's rays are peeking thru. I am the sun and life right now are the storm clouds. Let me run it down:If it isn't bad enough I'm dealing with Aiden being gone, I go and accuse my husband of something so stupid instead of just being his wife and recognizing that he is human. I was mean to him last night, he left for a while and didn't sleep with me in the bed. I hate that. I woke up this morning at 3am paying for my stress dearly with insomnia and migraine nation.
As soon as I got in my car, 10 minutes late, I turned on the radio to my daily Chuck Swindoll broadcast. Lo and behold, his message this week is Hope, After I Do. Talk about God Smacked!
Chuck Swindoll: ....it's not up to us to change our husbands, it's up to God to make them Good and for us to love them (I'm paraphrasing)
Me: **blubbering uncontrollably with snot and tears running down my face, trying hard to see through my tear stained glasses, doint 65mph on the highway***
Chuck Swindoll: ....women adorn themselves being submissive to their own husbands just as Sarah was to Abraham......(listen to the broadcast)
Me: I had a Diane Keaton crying moment.....groans and all. It was pathetic
When I got to work, my face felt "this" huge and all hot. Boy I'm glad I'm dark skinned or else everybody would have thought I just had a steam bath on my face.
I tried working but couldn't even focus so I came home only to find out I was stabbed in the back, front, side AND leg by someone that I used to be very close to. I wont besmirch this person but it was so painful.
I was so angry at first. Like really angry. Then I was so hurt that all I could do was just pray for this person. Now my husband on the other hand is not that forgiving. I wont repeat what he said but.....let's just say, I'm not going to California for spring break anymore. *sigh*
On a brighter note, my big sister prayed for me today. Doesn't seem like much but if you know me then you know my sister has never been in a place where she would willingly pray for me as my big sister. We have never been close. Always at odss, both of dealing with the repercussions of a single parent so deep into their addiction that we are scared for life. I am so thankful for her. Wow. I never thought she would be there for me like that...my sister. I mean we hated each other at one point in our lives and now TODAY she prayed for me. God is good.
Friday, November 26, 2010
The Wedding Album That Never Was
This is one of the pictures from our wedding day. I have yet to send it to our photographer as part of our wedding album. I have too many pictures!! I made this magazine cover and I thought it was really cute. Whaddya think?
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