Oh no you didnt!! The Bio-dad chronicles

Yep - my hub is not the bio dad for my daughter........OH GOD I WISH HE WERE. No her father, nope, daddy, nope, sperm donor - too much credit there, last name giver - DING DING DING.........he thinks he is doing me a favor by texting me out of the blue to let me know he is going to put some money in my back account. Whoop-dee-freakin-do. Sounds easy right? Wrong. My ex was an abuser - physical and verbally - he hasnt changed. For some reason he has decided that he knows EVERYTHING and usually when the man thinks he knows everything - nothing gets done amd hence, I end up with a conversation via text like this:

Last Name Giver: How u feelin?
Me: Good, u
Last Name Giver: Im coo. How's Rina?
Me: U could call and speak to her. She is about to go to
Arkansas with my mom in about 30 minutes.
LNG: 4 how long?
Me: Until Wednesday
LNG: I'll talk 2 her when she gets back. I'm about 2 put some money in ur account. (side-note: he hasnt talked to her in about THREE MONTHS and he didnt call on Christmas)
LNG: You still with Bank of America?
Me: I dont have that account anymore, let me give you my other account number.....blah blah blah
LNG: That number is too long
Me: It is a TEXAS account
LNG: Yeah but the numbers dont fit on my deposit slip.
Me: It doesnt have to, just go up to the teller window and deposit the money
LNG: I have already been to the bank twice - the number is too long
Me: Did you speak to a teller?
LNG: No, I figured it out myself
Me: It is a TEXAS ACCOUNT. The account numbers are different!
LNG: Well, I already left the bank and I will do it when I feel like it another day.
Me: WTFreak (sorry I dont curse)?
LNG: I will do it when I have time - Im busy anyway.
Me: Why do you have to be so complicated, just go into the bank and speak to a teller..........(no response)Dont waste your time. If I need anything from u then the judge can determine that. I am so tired of your crap. If you dont want to be a father 2 Rina then sign away ur rights and leave me alone.
LNG: F*%! you B*%!#
Me: OH NO YOU DIDNT! <--------ANGRY FACE

Hubby - via phone: Look bro, dont call my wife, dont text her, dont call this house unless you want to speak to Rina. Until then - step off.

LNG - the coward: via text: F&$! both yall B*^$!@#

apparently I dont know my own checking account number and I am the dummy. I have never filed child support on this guy because hey, people have issues and he is one of them, I have never asked him for anything. I am not a "baby mama drama" queen. I dont have time for that nor am I the type. But right about now - I am so done - someone needs to fork me. Yeah I said stick a fork in me - DONE. So I promptly went to old Gov. Swartzen-terminators site and filed a child support case. Enough is enough. It would be so easy to have him sign over his rights but I know he wont just to spite my husband because he wants to adopt her......but he has never given me anything for her in her entire life and I admit I have let him get off easy but enough is enough!

The Granny Diaries 1.0

Sooooo although me and my hubby have been fine - my granny and I are now going at it. Check it. When we first moved to Texas, I was the one that was working and paying for the majority of our rent and stuff - fine. Flash-forward 6 months later - I am out of a job and my grandmother and husband are now working. She is upset that I dont do enough around this house or my husband either for that matter. Mind you, I take her to work every morning by driving 20 miles to her job and I pick her up. My uncle just got out from prison and who is driving him around??? You know it - me. When my lazy smart aleck brother needs to be picked up from his Football practice - HELLO - there I am. And yet I cant say jack to him - even though he is in MY HOUSE and his room always looks like THIS -

Yet I am the one being fussed at??????????????????

I never clean up the way she likes it and our house is always filthy - OMG! Have you seen our house - it doesnt look like anyone lives here because it is always so CLEAN!



But according to my granny - it is filth-nasty-dirty. My granny is a neat freak. She likes things clean - spick-n-span. That is fine - in fact - I am a little bit just like her. On the other hand, I can go two days without cleaning our house. It is two stories and truth be told doesnt need to be cleaned EVERYDAY especially when it looks clean anyway! I do understand though that we need to clean up the little things - like the dust behind the washer and dryer or the crumbs at the bottom of the Fridge.....or the piece of trash under the couch that I had no idea was there.

Ok - so I didnt mop our entryway this week and there were cereal crumbs on the floor........SORRY - I didnt know. We had a shouting match today. I have NEVER shouted at my grandmother but I had had enough.....I thought she was going to hit me. She insulted me pretty badly.....but and right now I am tearing up from what she said......I dont know if I can forget what she said. Apparently I dont do enough so I will just clean up the way she would like and make sure if I have funds that I go shopping for meat - because that was one of her gripes too. Whatever. It is like a circus - a very clean circus. I am done.

The Nag Diaries 1.8 - The Great Comprimise

So Tiffs done and over. We have decided to really just shut the heck up and talk. I know, doesnt make sense right? Well we both realized that we were flapping our gums and saying nothing but stuff that would hurt each other. My hub finally admitted that he was addicted to the videogame........in fact he says that he is suffering from Xbox withdrawal......I dunno.......what trips me out is that the Xbox is mine and I have never played it.....so I guess I wasnt THAT wrong for putting it up for sale. Anyway.....we have comprimised. I am going to be more patient and understanding. I got some great advice from my girls over at the Womens Hair Loss Project....smiling will be a tool that I pull out very often.

My hubby has also agreed to blog with me. That should be very interesting. I hope so. Until then........toodles!

The Nag Diaries 1.7 - The Big Tiff

Ok - it was bad. We had a fight. Today started off really good. I got up, made breakfast for my hub and daughter. But I just couldnt let it go.......the loneliness I have been feeling, the neglect, the anger that I had pent up inside - all came tumbling out with 9 words. I brought up that dreadful video game again.......boy did he blow up at me......

Gezz: "I will NEVER stop playing my game - I was playing before I met
you and I wont stop"
Me: "Then I dont want to be with you anymore."
Gezz: Fine! %@#! this #$%!.......Im sick of you nagging
anyways........(something to that affect)
Me: Standing there completely dumbfounded with dishwater suds dripping on the floor. In shock. I cant believe I said that to him.....

It was horrible. I dont even want to think about it but I have to write about it. I found him upstairs in our closet...that is our home away from home - it is like seperate room - it is a seperate room. Anyway there he was, packing. Always packing. He wanted to leave. I wouldnt let him until he calmed down.

I didnt know. I didnt know how much he was hurting to. I didnt know. I didnt know how much this was affecting him. I didnt know. All I knew was that I was hurting and he needed to hurt too - and he was. I just didnt know.

He broke his Xbox game in anger......you would think I would be happy about that but it only made things worse.

We decided to just go ahead and call it quits. I am depressed, physically sick and tired all the time........we sat in our closet for almost an hour and a half. Talking, crying, fussing, blaming - never once did we stop and say let's pray. Man is this what the bible talks about in terms of marriage? Is this how Eve felt when she went ahead and bit that apple because her husband wasnt paying attention to her at the time? Eve, how could you. And now we have this.....

We talked. We worked it out. I poured out my feelings once again and this time he really listened. He made me punch him a couple of times too to get the aggression out......I hate violence but it did make me feel better to sock something... I wanted to make up in the only way married people can but leave it to my hubby to be such a man - he had to take "a dump".....(rolls eyes)

So why am I writing all this?? I dont know. I want our marriage to work - truly I do. But sometimes, I have to ask myself, is it all worth it?

Nag Diaries 1.6 - Sunday is Funday

This has been one hard week. Things are not going to well with my hubby. Ugh! I dont know what to do with him. I cant sell him, cant pimp him - that's illegal and I cant give him away - we are under contract you know. What's a married girl to do???? I don't give up easily and I am not a cheater..........takes to much energy and believe it or not I love my Gezz. I remember how we met...............
*dream sequence starts to be quickly interrupted by reality* - yes we met on MySpace! I fell in love with my husband the first night we met face to face. He was soo cute and he told me EVERYTHING...........now he does all his talking with his game controller. *sigh*

Even though the X-box did sell, I didnt have the heart to ship it. I refunded the moolah and made up some lame excuse......ok wait a minute, I am the one missing out on hubby/wifey time - he is the one that spends ridiculous amounts of time in front of the boob tube shooting people. Why is it fair that I sit through Sharkboy and Lavagirl with my duaghter (it had it's moments) alone. Dont get me wrong, I like quality time with my baby girl - but why should I be the only to suffer through goofy kid movies????? My brain is entitled to some freedom, isn't it?

God how do people who have been married for 40 years do it??????????? I mean - do you know how many days that is for crying out loud. I dont think I am going to make it 40 years before I check out mentally.....oh God - I think I have already checked out! Am I the only one feeling this? (knocks on PC monitor)

Hey! Are yall listening?