- Toilet seat down but no toilet paper cause it's STILL sitting in the hallway where he left it.
- Dishes in the dishrack (because, yay, he washed them) but more dishes in BOTH sides of the sink because he used those before he left and I (wifey) am the unpaid maid.
- Those sheets don't smell like butt crack and armpits for nothing. I WASH THEM.
- Two corners of our room have been knighted as a closet. Shoes, socks & clothes trail the room leading to the "closets". I clean the closets out 4 times a week.
- I bought laundry baskets so I wouldn't have to clean out the closets 4 times a week. They are empty. And dusty.
- Our master bathroom has an alter ego by the name of "kitchen". The dishes that were left in both sides of the sink, that the maid washes, came from the kitchen in the master bathroom.
The other day I found a journal I bought the summer after I graduated from high school (1999). It is a Wonder Woman Journal. I bought it from Walgreens I think in Los Angeles. I found a lot of poetry I wrote in it, songs from my friends I met at Shakespeare Festival LA/Will Power to Youth that year, letters from them, drawings, the angst of a young girl trying to find herself, falling in love, fighting in love & losing in love over the span of 6 years.It wasn't pretty. It was downright butt ugly. God I was a love sick dog with like 3 legs, limping down the road of despair. I was stupid. I allowed myself to be insanely jealous, dumb & weak. I allowed myself to be abused. He was horrible. He didn't love me. He didn't even care. To think I cheated on my high school loser boyfriend to get with another loser whom I thought was my "moon and stars" as the Khaleesi would say. He wasn't. But he gave me the sun which I am most thankful for. I went through 4 boyfriends in that journal - FOUR - as well as like 5 years of college in that one journal AND I found an entry where I had a miscarriage in February 2000. I had forgotten. It red ink spread all over the page around the picture of Wonder Woman in the jaws of some type of Jurassic monster with lots of teeth.WOW. Seeing that was like a shot to the chest. I cant believe I had forgotten. I cant believe my mind was so messed up back then & still is. The pain and confusion in my writing was so heavy. But the thing that really threw me for a loop was that it was the same ole same ole issues. Low self esteem, indecision, self-hate - self pity. Those same things that I struggle with now as a wife & mother. Over 10 years later. Same old crap. Sd how do I deal? How to I leave these emotional wounds behind & finally get to the point of scabs & then finally scars?I was watching Joyce Meyers message on emotional healing. She pointed out that self-pity is the same as idolotry. How right she is. I've read countless times in the bible & on blogs, the best medicine to heal your sorrow is to help someone else; focus on someone elses issues because there is always another person in a predicament worse than you. God I hope that's true. It has to be or everything I have been through has been for nothing. I will be damned before I let that happen. 
