Nag Diaries 2.5

The Porn is back.  Found on the PC.  Dont konw who did it.  But it was not me.  I hate this feeling.  It makes my stomach churn.  To think that my husband, in hell he would rather burn. I could tell something was wrong.  He usually starts acting weird.  Going all the way down the block & around the corner to explain simple stuff.  Maybe I am just being paranoid but I cannot lie.  I dont trust him sometimes.  Honestly. 

I went through this period where I would get urges to check the internet history and his emails & something inside me would shake.  I would stop myself & say dont worry bout it.  Gosh I just wish I was sure about some things.  That I had a steadiness within me about my marriage because it permeates everything in my life.  Nauseating.  I wish I could walk away knowing that the pain would not soon follow as I walk away.  Knowing that my daughter would not be affected.  But the pain will follow, hop on my back and creep its way into the secret places of my heart.  My daughter would be devestated.  But seriously, what about me?  Is that wrong to ask?

Im done.  Fork me.