Do you know people who no matter what are alwasy put together - hair is on deck, make-up is flawless and the outfit came straight from a magazine? Well I know plenty and I am not one of them. Back when I was a teenager growing up in Phoenix, AZ I would be amazed and envious at the young girls who ALWAYS had it all together - no matter what. I used to think - "How did they do that and who taught them?"
And I would struggle to make my own "swag" work. I liked weird things - like black combat boots and hats - still love hats and my taste in different shoes still lingers. I hated doing my hair because I would have to perm it and I hated that and now I believe I am seeing the damages of hair straigtening. Heeeeyyy, I had a nice head of hair - actually - MY HAIR WAS REALLY NICE - great - see what happens when you dont appreciate what you have people??? Nevertheless, I didn't really care what people thought about me. In retrospect - I was the one that cared so much about what I thought about me. I didn't realize that it was because of my own opinions of me, I kind of developed my own style of beauty.
Some 10+5 years later - I discover that I have always had my own style. I never wanted to really copy off of people although I may have tried once or twice only to quickly discard that and go back to doing me. Even now - I am still not the flawless, covergirl that society potrays women to be - ALL THE TIME. I envy my grandmother because she can become a covergirl in no time flat with some eyeliner and lipstick. But me, hey a hat and some lipgloss or chapstick is good enough.
As women grow older, I believe that we peel back different layers of beauty with what life tosses at us. Don't believe me? Let me challenge you. What has life thrown at you that you have used for good and it beautified you?
As I said before I hated doing my hair when I was younger and it [my hair] was something that always held me up on different opportunities. So now for the last 10 years I have been losing it and just recently I cut it down to a mini fro and just this weekend I shaved it all off. This was a traumatic thing for me because I am an aspiring actress and the only thing I can think about is "What if they want me to change my hair?". But the longer I am bald the more my beauty is revealed. In the words of India Arie - "I am NOT my hair". Sure I am overweight - the weight can be lost and gained over and over again - but my hair is something that is a time consuming process. For some women it is their occupation - it is what makes them who they are.
All of it may never grow back in spots but I thank God that I have.........found..........my....... beauty. It was not in a magazine, a TV show, a song, a movie, a blog or even in my husbands eyes. I found my beauty in something that I thought was ugly and couldnt be fixed - my hair. So I let go of it.
This is why I love Doves Campaign for Real Beauty. True beauty is found only when you let your own opinions and perspectives go. For me I just shaved it right off, rolled it up in a ball and threw it away.
What's yours?
~Give me a thorn and I will show you the Rose it is clinging to - A Naylahism
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