I am utterly lost. I get up, get dressed, fuss at my baby girl for not brushing her teeth.......how she hates brusing. Rush to the car to transport my granny and daughter to work and school respectively. Then I am back home again in front of the PC searching...........always searching. Blogs, social networks, acting jobs, regular jobs. Just this day 5 different jobs turned me down. But what is funny is that I dont even know if I want to go back to work doing the same ole thing. Working, working, working to pay bills, bills, bills and hopefully there is life somewhere in between. I dont get it.
This is someplace I have never been before. I mean with my car accident I was physically injured and it rendered me disabled for a while. True I was depressed.....borderline PTS but........that was different. This......this......existing without knowing what is coming is.......so......unfair. I dont understand why I am going through this and yes I do believe in God and I dont doubt his plan but while I am going through this season where I feel like I am not producing or creating anything worthwhile - what do I do. I am slowly going crazy.....me thinks.
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