Nag Diaries 8.10 - Sexcapades

This is actually one of my favorite posts and I am reposting it just for fun! 

I have not blogged all week!! I have been working....and an update is soon to come for what has happened this week.  But I must tell yall about my event full morning this 14th day of our Lord, 2010.

Friday my sudd-muffin was being a jerk.  Every time I turned around he was texting me about putting oil in the car and NAGGING me about how much money we have in the bank.  Really?  I'm at work.  Listening to other people nag about unemployment or lack thereof and he keeps texting me about OIL for the car and MONEY.  **exasperated string of curse words go here**  Then he gives me a "directive" via text:  "Remember: before you take Rasheeda home, get some oil."

I almost threw my Blackberry.  I mean why didn't he get the oil for the car after he dropped me off at work at 7am???  Answer: because he went back home and went to sleep!

Moving on - I was not happy with the sudd-muffin.  He was on the Hit List - I was gonna hit him when I saw him.  Just smack em.  Things just got worse.  I think he had Male PMS yesterday.  He whined about everything and was just in a oh so foul I'm a man mood instead of the Old Spice mood.

Que-so, this morning when I wake up - Garrett is in "I'm sorry mode".   Which I appreciate.  He apologized profusely.  Mind you this is all happening in front of my computer desk and chair - with him in it.  I decide to forgive him because really - I have the kind of day he had at least 3 times a week!

 *Fade to black goes here and role credits..*

Sexcapade Credits

Sincere yet hopeful husband featuring the Ambitious but clumsy wife

And

Introducing 

The Keyboard tray - Taking sexy back one kick at a time....

I am still in my pajamas - which is an old blue nightshirt with stars and moons on it from when I was pregnant 9 years ago - Not sexy but tryin. I looked down at my hubby sitting in that chair smirking and smiling, lay my hand on one of his shoulders, the other on the side of his face in a soft caress, flip that left eyebrow up in my sexy "come here" way and attempt to throw/kick my leg over his shoulder all sexy like while he is sitting in the chair. You know the way ladies with sexy fishnet stockings do so the guy can run his hand up the calf and thigh.......

*disaster goes here*

So I didn't really judge how far away I was from the keyboard tray on the computer desk.  My leg (mind you the one with the metal plate and screws in it) collides with/underneath the keyboard tray at my ankle, lifts the keyboard tray up into up in the air about 5 inches only to slam back down.  Loudly*. 

The sudd-muffin commences to roll off the chair straight onto the floor to do what he does best - laughs at me. 
I was mortified.  All I could do was limp over to the couch and cover my face while he is TRULY ROFL at me! 

Now I sit here with a lump on my ankle typing this.......how did I get here.  *smirk*  I can always try that again another day....

Anyone else have a sexcapade disaster?  Go ahead and tell it - I won't laugh.